O God, the Father of all, whose Son commanded us to love our enemies: Lead them and us from prejudice to truth; deliver them and us from hatred, cruelty, and revenge; and in your good time enable us all to stand reconciled before you; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
In the previous posts, I mentioned the person who fired me last March from my job of 33-1/2 years, and said that I'd probably flip him off if I saw him face to face, although I had "let go of most of the anger." I was not ready to forgive him, not least of all because I figured he was not in the least repentant about the thing he did. Some of the verses of Psalm 59 described the way I felt: "For the sins of their mouths, for the words of their lips, for the cursing and lies that they utter, let them be caught in their pride. Make an end of them in your wrath; make an end of them, and they shall be no more." Not that I wanted him to die, but I wished for him at least to feel a little bit sorry about what he did (firing me, and even more, lying about me to keep me from collecting unemployment), even if I never learned about it.
Today I found out that he was having brain surgery, to be followed by chemotherapy. My immediate reaction was "Damn! Now I can't even wish retribution on him any more." My next thought was "There's the explanation for how irrational his behavior has been." That has been followed by a few hours of feeling alternately guilty and angry that this has come up.
I wouldn't—and don't—wish physical harm, especially this sort of sickness, on anyone. That said, I have to admit that if I had heard that he had died, I would feel, at most, mild regret that something so bad had occurred. Since instead what I heard was that he was sick, I hope he recovers fully. But I will always wish that he hadn't connived against and lied about me.
